Smart Women

Are women getting smarter?  Or are men just starting to appreciate what they bring to the table more?  I ask this as the last couple of men I've been out with, their observation of me is that "you are so smart".  One went so far to say that I was the "smartest woman that he knew".

I pondered this for a moment as while I am highly educated, can carry on a conversation about a wide range of topics, have many life experiences (ah, the joy of being older) and consider myself smart, I am hardly a Rhodes Scholar.  So what is this new phenomenon?

Are my fellow women hiding their smartness thinking it will not be appreciated?

I started to talk to my women friends about this, and it seems like there may be a issue on both sides; men who choose poorly and go for fluff versus substance . . .and women who put their substance on the shelf for their man so that they are more of what he wants.

Women, it's time to embrace our smartness if you are not already doing so. Get involved, be engaged, stay current. Any guy who doesn't want you to be smart is a fool and not worthy of your smartness. And why would you want that guy anyway??

I have a smart woman friend who dates a wide range of men.  The interesting thing is that she sort of "morphs" into what ever that next man wants her to be.  Sometimes when we go out, I can barely find the woman that I know in her.  She is passive when I know she's not.  Interested in things that I know she hates and even laughs at things that I know she doesn't think is funny.  And my biggest challenge?  She acts dumb on things that I know she knows about, just to appear interesting to her man!

When I brought this to her attention, she denied it vehemently but I have seen it happen again and again.  Why can't she just be herself?  And what is so wrong about being smart?

Young girls have had this issue with trying to impress boys for years.   Many "girls only" schools use this phenomenon of girls acting less smart around boys to support why girls get better grades in single sex institutions as well.

It's a crazy dance that we do to have people in our lives.  But being smart should not be an option.  And it should be appreciated by whoever you are with.